and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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