You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Drunk is not a location!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
