Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
