i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
