i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
