lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
