I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
