So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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