i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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