You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize