He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
