She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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