i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
