is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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