Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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