If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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