Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
vagina is talking i cant
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just gargled with NyQuil
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
