I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She bit a glass in half.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
