i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
