Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
