did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
