They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
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