Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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