My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
