There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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