Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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