i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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