Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
