Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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