i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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