That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
