Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
