im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
