I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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