Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
