So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
