She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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