every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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