You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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