i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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