I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
