i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
