Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
