you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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