I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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