Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
someone owes me an orgasm
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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