I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
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