Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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