is wine microwaveable?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up under a house in Key West
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
