Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
