On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
