dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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