Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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