Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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