just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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