I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
