I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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