im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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