All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
